when the weather warmed i thought about ending it & went to the grocery store to feel a purpose again. i bought flowers there, hydrangeas, red ones, put them in a vase on the desk in my lonely room. at night i texted the crisis line again, those damn red hydrangeas watching over me, reminding me, painfully, how alive i was

that was last spring. now the weather warms again & i feel the alive in my bones. the sun comes out earlier every day, spring is coming. i look at the flowers in the grocery store, sometimes buying a bouquet for the apartment, always alstroemeria, it lasts the longest & so will i. i grow with tendrils now, with feelers