Blackout

Hayley Carpenter

Blackout

(from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, Chapter 23)


I. God’s Punishment (Manic Depression)

I, roused to passion, feel soulless and heartless

As if God made me leave mortal flesh

And so wed me to my 

Desperation


II. God’s Punishment (Dissociation) 

You set me before my second self 

And fate trembled

I am torn between my likeness

And myself 

For I still doubt you


III. God’s Mistake (Delusion)

You shall be convinced

I, unearthly, earnest, and not entirely my own

I want your countenance flushed 

With that torture of devotion

Accept me

Say my name

Hayley Carpenter is a recent graduate of Utah Valley University, having received a BS in English with a concentration in creative writing. While she saves up for graduate school, Hayley is jumping from writing project to writing project and dreaming about finally swimming in the ocean this year.