The blue globe spun serenely through space, following its pre-ordained trajectory around the sun. Up until about five minutes ago, the globe had been blue, but it had also been green, and brown, and white. But the Elohim had agreed: it was time for a hard reset.

This batch of lifeforms wasn’t working out.

«At least it’s not as bad as the dinosaurs,» Ba’al said. The others muttered agreement. That had been cataclysmic. For a start, it had been a lot of work to find an asteroid just the right size. They hadn’t wanted to tear a new moon out of the planet, after all. And, also, it had made the whole planet very unpleasant to visit. Very hot. Pretty stinky.

This is really messy, though. And I didn’t like the screaming. It gave me all these feels. Yahweh had always been a little squeamish. Yahweh had actually made them bury all the corpses after the dinosaur event. It felt like it had taken eons. Plus, there’s going to be a lot to mop up. And I don’t want to be in charge of making the polar ice caps. Don’t like the grating noise. 

‘How long do you think it’ll take?’ Elah asked. ‘To tidy all this up?’

WHY? YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE YOU NEED TO BE? Shaddai’s voice boomed, as it always did. 

Elah sucked its incorporeal teeth, a habit it had picked up from the women who used to visit its temple, women who had spent time there talking about their husbands’ drinking or gambling or fancy ladies. They’d done a lot of teeth sucking. ‘Maybe. Maybe I just want to take a break, take some down time. Chill out.’ 

WE ARE IN THE INTERSTITIAL PLACE BETWEEN WORLDS. EXACTLY HOW MUCH MORE CHILLED DO YOU WANT TO BE?

«Hey! Relax, both of you! It’s been, like, a few minutes tops.» Ba’al said, still staring at the turbulent planet-wide sea. Ba’al liked a good storm. 

‘Feels like longer,’ Elah replied. ‘There’s nothing to do, now. How long will this take? I want a temple again, somewhere they’ll feed me things again. Grapes and whatever.’

«Yeah, well, the water just finished rising. We’ve got, maybe, thirty, forty days?» It was always Ba’al who managed these projects. It liked keeping the records updated. «We’ll let the waters finish washing everything away, let the sediment settle down. Then we can work together on re-forming the ice caps, decide where we want the continents to be, and kick this off again. Third time lucky, hey?» 

They watched as the waters swished around the planet, stared at eddy currents forming around the tips of mountain ranges, and at the bulge from the pull of the moon which looked like an un-popped boil.

Shaddai broke the silence. SO, WHAT DO WE WANT TO TRY GROWING NEXT?

Something that doesn’t shit, Yahweh suggested. Or scream. 

‘Like tree people?’ Elah’s imagination didn’t stretch far.

Yeah, maybe. Or, corals? 

I THINK CORALS SHIT. 

«Hold up, hold up,» Ba’al cut across the start of a promising line of enquiry. «We can’t have this conversation without Addie. Anyone seen Addie?»

The Elohim considered briefly, and realised they hadn’t. Not in at least two minutes, anyway. Not since the floods began in earnest.

‘Hey, Shaddai, call Addie,’ Elah said.

YOU CALL ADDIE, Shaddai snapped.

‘You have the voice for it. All powerful and boomy. I’ve always admired your booming shouty voice.’

YOU’RE USING FLATTERY.

‘Yeah, and?’

IT’S SURPRISINGLY EFFECTIVE. ADONAI, COME JOIN US! Shaddai’s voiced boomed, the echo bouncing back off the blue planet, a rolling thunder of godlike magnitude. 

«Good thing everything down there is dead,» said Ba’al. «That would have scared the life out of them.»

They waited for what felt like seconds. Nothing happened.

ADDIE! MANIFEST YOUR INCORPOREAL ASS OVER HERE!

The last of the Elohim popped out from the other side of the blue planet.

“Oh! Hi guys! Sorry, didn’t hear you. Because we’re in space, haha. What’s going on?” 

I don’t think you’re supposed to say ‘guys’ you know, Yahweh said. It’s not very inclusive. 

WHAT SHOULD WE SAY INSTEAD? Shaddai asked. HI GODS?

Yeah, maybe, or… 

«Could everyone just keep to task, please? Addie, where have you been? We want to start planning for the next evolution.» Ba’al sounded like a pedantic accountant in the sort of equatorial civilisation that no longer existed. «We need everyone here, so we can deliberate.»

“Uhm. Well. So, yeah, about that.” It was hard to fidget without a body, without fingernails to pick or a stylus to chew, but Adonai was giving it a good go. “There was something I wanted to tell you, but then we ran out of time, and the flood just happened so fast…”

It was really dramatic, right? Yahweh said. Like, whoa, get those waters to slow down a little, you know? 

‘Yeah, it kind of caught me out, how fast it went,’ Elah said. ‘Just a little heat on the polar ice and the waters were just like, whoosh, and then all that rain, and then, boom, there was no one left.’

“You say that,” Adonai glanced over at the blue ball. “You say there’s no one left, but…”

Shaddai was staring at the planet, scowling. WHAT IS THAT?

«What is what?» Ba’al’s voice took on a distinct similarity to nails on igneous rock. «What is what ?»

THAT. Shaddai gestured towards the perfectly blue ball, entirely shades of blue except for a tiny speck, dark against the glittery planet-sea. The Elohim all zoomed in. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, ADONAI?

“Nothing!” Adonai wondered if the moon was big enough to hide behind. Maybe the sun would be a better choice. “I just, you know, didn’t agree about the whole annihilation business.”

«A hard reset, that’s what we agreed,» Ba’al said. «I have it in my notes, right here. 1656 AM, drown the world, start again. The population was out of control. We agreed, Addy.»

Yeah, Addie, we agreed, Yahweh stuck out its tongue.

«Shut up, Yaya.»

“Uhm. So, about that. I didn’t actually vote?” Adonai edged closer to Mars, in case it needed to duck behind something.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DIDN’T VOTE? WE ALL VOTED. BA’AL HAS IT IN THE NOTES, Shaddai said.

“Actually, I excused myself, exactly when you voted,” replied Adonai. “Just nipped out for a pee. Because we were corporeal, and we were in that really lovely room, remember, with all the bronzes? I didn’t want to make a mess in there.”

‘Oh, yeah, that was a really lovely venue. Great food. We should use that aga–’ Elah smacked its metaphysical forehead. ‘Oh. Shit.’

“So, yeah. You all agreed. I didn’t vote. But I guess the majority carries, anyway.” Adonai gestured at the blue world. “It’s mostly drowned.”

«This isn’t a democracy, you wazzock,» Ba’al said.

“What is it, then?”

THE KINGDOM OF GODS.

Yahweh tilted its head, and asked, Right, but what actually does that mean? Like, really? Cuz I’ve always wondered. 

SHUT UP, YAYA.

“You all made a big decision, and I guess that’s fine, but I figured maybe I’ll take a little decision and save just some of them. Like, a really small proportion.” Adonai shrugged. “So, I warned someone, you know, a nice guy, keen to talk to the gods. Big into wine, but a good sharer, and a good listener. Anyway, I let him know that, you know, a big storm was coming, best to make preparations, that sort of thing. He seemed pretty worried, went and made this big boat, collected a lot of animals and the family members he liked. Seemed legit.”

«You just warned someone. I see. Well, we’ll just have to go and fix this problem. Lightning and big waves should do it, I think. Elah, you want to help me with this?» Ba’al began to roll up its immaterial sleeves.

“No! Wait! You can’t.” Adonai flapped in front of them. “Please, give them a chance.”

WHY SHOULD WE? YOU HAVE MADE UNILATERAL DECISIONS ABOUT THE FATE OF THE EARTH, Shaddai sounded stern, disapproving.

“I mean, we make unilateral decisions about the fate of the Earth all the time. Just, we do it as a group. One voice of the gods. But they never have a say,” Adonai gestured at the dot on the sea. “And I don’t really think that’s on. Can’t we just leave them to it, see how they do for a bit?”

Yahweh nodded. Actually, I’d be up for no more screaming. My head still hurts from a few minutes ago. I need an aspirin or something, and we just went and washed away all the willow trees. 

“They have seeds on the boat,” Adonai said.

‘That’s not a boat, it’s a floating island. It looks like they’ve got literally every animal on earth on that thing.’ Elah was inspecting the boat, peacefully bobbing along like a cork. ‘How in gods’ names did they get polar bears onto that thing? I wouldn’t want to be in charge of mucking out, that’s for sure.’

“Not all the creatures made it aboard, I heard. Some things got left out, couldn’t be found, or herded.” Adonai shrugged.

When can we plant the trees? Yahweh asked.

Elah sucked its teeth again. ‘Shut up, Yaya.’

Everyone STOP telling me to shut up! My head hurts, and we can’t agree on stuff, and I just, you know what? I need a break! Yahweh pulled back from the group. I think I need to put some space between us. I’m going to go find another planet and see if they have willow trees, or those mushrooms that you lick that make you see the gods. 

YOU WANT TO SEE THE GODS? GET A MIRROR.

Shut up, Shads! I’m going. You can’t stop me. 

None of the Elohim tried.

«Oy vey. I guess that ruins any chance that we might reach an agreement in this millennia.» Disappointment emanated from Ba’al, as it tucked its notes between the fabrics of time. «While we wait for Yaya to get over its strop, perhaps I will do an inventory of habitable planetary systems in this quadrant of the universe.»

YOU DON’T NEED TO INVENTORY ANYTHING. WE ARE OMNICIENT, pointed out Shaddai.

But Ba’al was gone.

Elah waited for two whole seconds, then said in a hurry, ‘You know what? I think maybe I’ll join Ba’al. Find a place with some sapient species that are keen to build a temple. I’ll, uh. I’ll see you both around?”

WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?

Adonai shrugged. “Probably not. Probably something I did. Kind of destroys the all-knowing all-powerful concept, if you totally blank on one of your siblings filling a boat with sheep. And, to be honest, it always seemed like Elah was looking for an excuse to go off and do its own thing. Never been that keen on me.”

NOR ME. Shaddai paused, staring at the blue dot. I AM BEGINNING TO WONDER, HOWEVER, ABOUT WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE. I’M TIRED OF DESTRUCTION. PERHAPS I WILL ALSO TAKE THIS TIME TO EXPLORE THE UNIVERSAL WILDS. FIND OUT IF THERE ARE CORALS ON OTHER PLANES OF EXISTENCE. IT SEEMS YOU HAVE ACQUIRED THIS WORLD, ADONAI. DO YOU THINK YOU CAN MANAGE ALONE?

Adonai smiled. There would need to be some serious clean-up to do, and some meteoric changes to the theology moving forward. 

“Yeah, you go ahead. I’ve got this. I can take it from here.”